Prior to my first manic episode, my two sons were the most significant and blissful relationships I had. They both meant the world to me. After my first psychotic episode, I would joyfully reminisce about the wonderful times we spent together, to suddenly shift to the darken depths of my core. I would visualize their faces of disappointment and fear, which would immediately pull me into a death wish depression.
I would recall how proud they were of me when I started my clothing line, Rebecca Jones. During the kickoff Gala, they would pretend to be models as they innocently strutted down the runway as if they owned the stage. I remember thinking to myself at the time, “I am so happy that my children will not have to face the struggles I went through as I navigated my way through the land mine path of adolescence. There is no way they will have to deal with, as I did, family destruction because of parental suicide, addiction and or mental illness.” I was to be proven wrong.
In the short film clip, “MY GREATEST JOY TURNS TO GRIEF,” from “A MAN-I-C,” Psychiatrist Dr. Gabriella Centurion explains how much I loved them and the pain I was going through. I am opening the curtains of the window to my soul, in the hopes the viewer can see for themselves the anguish depression can cause after an explosive manic episode. PLEASE watch and let me know your thoughts and pass the free viewing of my documentary, “A MAN-I-C” on to those who you think would benefit.
Today I am so thankful that I have a strong relationship with both sons, and look forward to the joy we will share in the future.