Unexpected Emotional Journey

I had the fortune to show my documentary and answer questions afterwards to a group of family members who are living with loved ones who are struggling with severe mental illness.  This was the first time I had this opportunity and I was in for an unexpected emotional journey.

There were about 15 people all anxiously awaiting my talk and documentary.  The leader had done a marvelous job of preparing them in advance by talking me up and listing some of my credentials.  Denise, my life partner, wanted to come and see the audience reactions, while I wanted to watch the documentary with everyone else.  Denise listened for the laughs, watched for the tears of joy or sadness, and also to see if they seemed interested or bored of the content.

Denise was thrilled by what she saw.  The emotions of the audience were more than she had expected.  “People were mesmerized, could not pull their eyes from the screen unless to wipe away tears, they laughed at certain parts, and smiled during my recovery.

I, on the other hand watched from a whole different perspective.  This time I tried to watch the documentary from the perspective of a family member, (my mom ended her life by suicide) instead of a person living with a mental illness.  I watched as my kids described their pain in watching me, my x-wife covered in darkness describing her perspective and others with all different viewpoints.

Despite my usual tears of sadness when I watch my kids, what really struck me like a lightening bolt, was the synchronicity of all the events.  Could it be possible that the universe wanted this to happen?  Could it be possible that somewhere deep with-in my soul knew this 13 year journey was going to happen?  If the quote, “Coincidence is just G-d’s way of staying anonymous is true”, than perhaps the universe knew all along.

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