Soul Searching

I left my Wednesday night school session a little off balance. I was wondering if I had crossed the line in admitting the coercion that could have taken place during my taping of Amber for our assignment. I had never considered what I had done unethical or something that went against the goals, values, and principals of psych rehab until our class lecture. The possibility of being unethical or doing something that would be non-beneficial to the people I would be serving, encouraged me to take a deeper look into my psyche and motivation behind my actions. I also wanted to make sure; the way in which I was disclosing my illness, the coping skills I was teaching, and ultimately sharing my personal recovery story, followed the goals, values, and principles I had been writing about and were not driven by self motivation. The trait in me I need to take inventory at all times.

In looking at the goals of psyche rehab and the benefit of the questioned interaction I had with Amber, it was easy for me to find positive reasons for doing so. I believe that me guiding her to ask me about my recovery, I was able to aid in Amber’s long term recovery. I was able to explain, have her participate, and most importantly, understand the basic knowledge of “The Four Agreements” by Don Ruiz. These four agreements were instrumental in my recovery and to this writer, have been an incredible tool in connecting with the people I have been working with. In the long run, I believe that the knowledge she gained by hearing about these agreements will be instrumental in her understanding of dealing with the issues she disclosed during our interview.

In order to truly understand the consequences of my actions, I also looked at what I perceive as possible negative results. Of course, it is impossible to know if the results were positive or negative until the future. However, Amber did express deep gratitude for our session and thanked me repeatedly for listening and teaching her new tools to use in her recovery path.

The negative aspect that I try to be cognoscente with, is not letting my ego and the desire to feel the adrenalin rush interfere with the process, when someone thanks me for helping them. The extreme emotionally positive feelings I get, when the people I have dealt with thank me, are overwhelming. In some respect, I think it is one of the primary reasons I do this. At some level, I believe the motivation could be the desire to be loved and appreciated. Having disclosed that, I would prefer to think that it is the affirmation of my perceived g-d given talent to connect to people, the education I have been given, and the life experience I have been blessed with, that motivate me.

When I was nearing the end of the recording session with Amber, I realized that she was a very intelligent young girl with the capacity to learn new ideas and concepts. For this reason, I am certain that I followed the value and belief that Amber could learn and grow by the information I was informing her of.

Finally, I looked over the principles, and my eyes locked on the point about skills training. I want to believe, that my motive in teaching Amber an essential tool that I learned in my recovery, would help her. Of course, one could argue, that this violates the self-determination aspect of the principles of psyche rehab.

So in review, and after doing some inward reflecting, I believe that in this case the results of the assignment were very positive, judging by the her responses, and I did not violate any ethical issues. The fact that I revealed to you the truth about the interaction Amber and I was a great learning tool for me to hopefully grow as a practitioner and a person in recover.

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